Resources
Sites, books, writings and more
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
"ALPB’s vision is to foster a society in which on-going empathetic pet loss and grief support services are widely accepted and available to pet families." The oldest accreditation and pet loss support organization in North America.
Lap of Love
A national network of vets who come to your home and ease your pet's transition. I have used Lap of Love for two beloved cats and can't recommend them highly enough. They're generally amenable to me coming with them to your home if that's what you want.
The definitive book about pet loss by Dr. Wallace Sife, the founder of the APLB. Can be a bit clinical, but that can be helpful if that's what you need.
If you love Mary Oliver, this book is a great way to soothe your hurting heart.
Heaven from Home
A support group for grieving pet parents. A great way to find people who understand the depth of what you're going through.
FAQs
What I've heard from pet parents
How will I know when it's time to let go?
A lot of pet parents feel like they'll "just know" when their pet is ready--but unfortunately, that might not be the case. Animals hide their pain really well, and you don't want to wait until your pet is visibly suffering: that means their pain is intense. You want to spare them that.
Instead, pick someting your pet is really fond of, whether that's food or walks or couch time. When your pet loses interest in that? Then, it's time.
But what if I decide to euthanize my pet too soon?
In my work with vets, I've heard them say, "Better a month too soon than an hour too late." In other words, you want their last moments to be peaceful. If they're terminal, the kindest thing you can do is to be honest with yourself about when it's time to let go.
Do I have to be in the room?
Not necessarily, but I highly recommend it. If you want me there, I'll be right next to you. If you can't stay, I will.
Have you ever had to put a pet to sleep?
Oh, yes. Several. Both of my ragdoll cats, Olivia and Milo, were assisted over the Rainbow Bridge by Lap of Love. When I had rats, the first one I lost, I had to euthanize due to untreatable brain cancer.
I can say, too, what it's like when you wait too long: my German Shepherd, Ripley, died with me in the back of our Jeep on the way to the vet. She was visibly suffering, but the vet wouldn't make a house call. To this day, I wish she'd have died in a more intentional environment.
What if people say, "It's just a dog!" when I tell them about it?
Pity them. Those people have never been loved by a beastie, or if they have, they never processed their own grief when they lost them.
In terms of what you can say, just try, "You don't understand." They don't, and you don't owe them an explanation.
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